My aunt and her boyfriend, or should I say "good friend", have decided to get married. Well, I thought when you get married you propose, have an engagement (if you want to), then it’s the wedding ! Wrong was I, I almost certainly should have known that since everything in my culture is just so different. Instead she had an engagement and then the groom’s family had to disburse my grandfather money give her away.
Yup, I have never heard of that one. Why is that you have to buy someone to marry them. Where’s the love in that? There isn’t. it might of well have been a arranged because your groom or husband is acquiring you off as if you were some type of meat and if you are just too expensive then what?
Now I know why everyone says to my dad “you’re going to be a rich man one day with all those girls you have”. But what if I marry someone who is not African? Are they going to have to pay also, and how much? Well St. Ambrose said “when in Rome do as the Romans” so in this case I am going to do as the Americans do and get married the normal way. Meaning not getting purchased off when I get married.
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I was quite interested in your post here, because of course there are marriage traditions all over the world, but I didn't quite know what you meant when you said "my grandfather money give her away." Was this some sort of dowry?
ReplyDeleteResearch this a bit more: why are dowries even still used in certain countries? Interview your father: does he expect a dowry? That would make an interesting post!
Wow Henrita! After reading your post, I was shocked to find out that individuals still "buy" their wives, even in the year that we are living in. Being Hispanic, I know that there are MANY cultural traditions and values that I do not agree with and can side in the more "American" view point of looking at things. Although I am proud of my heritage and my background, like you, I find it sometimes the actions our elders take confusing. I want to ask them if their minds will ever be open enough to change, but then I also do not want to be disrespectful (which I'm sure is how they'd view it).
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I constantly talk about how we will be raising our future children (he's Hispanic as well) in a state like Virginia, where there isn't as much Hispanic culture like in Miami where we used to live. It will definitely be a challenge raising him/her to love their Hispanic background in a mostly American state. Hopefully I can budge him and have us move down to Florida!